The greatest gift we can give our children

The greatest gift we can give our children is not good schooling, name brand clothing, holidays, their own bedroom, cool toys, pets, or even a strong work ethic. The greatest gift we can give our children...

is to deal with our own crap.

Each of us has it. We all have some kind of baggage, hurt or pain that we carry either from our own lives or from the generations that have walked before us. It's the baggage that weighs us down. The baggage that prohibits us from living fully and forces us into a holding pattern where survival is the best option. It's the baggage that drives us to seek out distractions, coping mechanisms, and substitutions as we seek to ignore the weight that we carry.

And I know that dealing with our own crap isn't easy or quick. It's a lifelong journey with a timing and a path that is unique for each one of us. But I believe that it's a journey worth taking and it begins by simply starting to be aware. Aware of what we are doing, aware of what is happening around and within us and then simply being curious. Not judging, not fixing, just attending.

When we attend to our own souls we show our children the path to wholeness. A path that is worth taking.

We show our children that each one of us is worth attending to.
We show them that brokenness is part of life.
We show them that admitting brokenness and seeking help is strength.
We show them that patterns can be broken when we stop and pay attention.
We show them that when we care for ourselves, we are better able to care for others.
We show them that everyone's path is different. 
We show them that we can live in this moment, without needing to escape.
We show them how to offer themselves comfort rather than simply distraction. 
We show them that a posture of love and curiousity leads to transformation.
We show them what it means to become, to live into our identities.

And most of all, we show them that living, fully and authentically is a worthwhile endeavor.

Living fully is worthwhile. It really is. It takes work and vulnerability, and risk, but so do lots of other things, that are honestly, a whole lot less worthwhile.

And maybe you're wondering why I'm writing this, or what authority I have to make these claims. And those are valid things to wonder. I'm not very old, I haven't walked this earth very long. But I have seen the incredible transformation that can happen in the lives of individuals, families, and groups when people are brave enough to tend their souls. Change and healing are possible. And honestly, nothing has impacted my life more than seeing others live into their callings, their identities, doing their own work. They show me what healthy looks like. They show me how to mourn and how to be joyful. They show me what it means to be fully alive. And because they have tended their own souls, they aren't threatened by mine. They don't need me to be something I'm not. They can fully support me in my journey, allowing me to change and explore without their own sense of identity being shaken.

There is so much more to life than climbing the corporate ladder, achieving the flattest abs, buying a dream house, and Pinterest. Let's show our children what that more, really is.